Moving Forward 2017

I always feel the need to add the current year to the title because it is entirely possible for me to want to write a similar post, or at least use a similar title, in years ahead. 

After a bit of a breakdown two weeks ago at work after working 32 hours with only a 2 hour break in the middle I did a lot of soul searching. I’d been spending so much time thinking about where I was going romantically and who I was in terms of sexual attraction and gender identity/expression since getting divorced that I forgot all about my career aspirations. To be completely honest and fair with myself I had forgotten about them long before the divorce was even set into motion as that is what my current job will do to a person; kind of make them give up on other endeavors because it requires a ridiculous amount of one’s time and mental capacity. But after sacrificing my sleep (and sanity) to help out with a staffing shortage and then being yelled at for things completely beyond my control and just completely and utterly unappreciated I took a giant step back to look at where I was in life. 

Completely unhappy job wise. I couldn’t be happier being single and free to lounge about on the floor with my cat or get up and go anywhere on a whim without having to consult anyone but myself. But I don’t want to make my current job a career. It’s not hard to tell that my blog was more or less left to rot in cyberspace after I began working, as were all of my scripts and novels and filming projects. 

So, I have since picked up my iPad, flipped over its keyboard, and began working on a project I have been wanting to work on since I started this blog way back when it was knows as “Writing and Recovering”. I have begun vlogging again and making travel plans, video plans, book plans, and written out tag lines for future scripts. I have looked into getting my fitness certifications back and as soon as I get my personal training certification back I want to actually, finally, get a job as a trainer. 

Those were the things I wanted to do before I even graduated college. That was my plan, and it’s not really a bad plan, either. But being an adult is scary. All I ever knew for the majority of my life was school, so going out into the real world with actual jobs and finances and taxes was pertifying. Then the Actor and I split up which was a whole other roller coaster, and now that things are finally settling down I’m looking at places I kind of forgot existed. 

I have dedicated 2 years of hours in 1 year at my current job and I don’t have much to show for it except useless knowledge that no one outside of the work force understands. I don’t feel like I’m creating anything of value there. I’m not doing what I want to do. So, moving forward, I’m going to actually strive to do what I want to do with my life. I have to stick it out at this job for an undetermined amount of time while I work everything out, get my certifications back and work on my writing projects, and I would actually like to transfer to an office in California if a spot becomes available and I’ve saved up enough money. I’m tired of the Washington gloom. 

I’m young. I’m aware of that. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But I’m also aware that I have the time to correct them, or at least move past them. I know I’ll make more mistakes in life. That’s inevitable, but I can’t keep making the mistake of putting myself into situations that are not what I want. I only get this one life. I need to do with it what I want to do. 


Thinking Out Loud #7: Fitness Career


Thursdays are for thinking out loud!

Honestly, the thoughts in my head right now are just the songs I’m working on for my Zumba mock class so I can try to get a job at the gym as an instructor.

Me a few months after getting certified, red faced after a run.

Me a few months after getting certified, red faced after a run.

Last quarter I had two mock sessions for personal training. I spent all of September-December of 2013 studying the body and exercise and all that good stuff. I got my personal training certification and was like, yes! This is what I want to do.

Turns out it wasn’t.

Thinking back on it now I think, “of course it wasn’t. Why on earth would I think it was?”

Thinking back on it now I realize that getting that certification was the last bit of family crap that was embedded into my brain. Growing up I wanted to write. “That’s nice as a hobby, but you need a real job,” they told me. “You could be a physical therapist or a personal trainer. They make a lot of money and you can work anywhere you want.” I always told myself that would never happen, but then you grow up and realize that you kind of need those stupid pieces of paper to live. And I realized I hated my college, I hated the town, and I just overall hate the state I live in. I had a scare this week that I might not graduate at the end of the year and I legit just said fuck it, I’ll drop out then. I cannot stay here anymore.

why would you crush this little girl's dreams??

why would you crush this little girl’s dreams??

So I decided being a personal trainer would be a good thing because I need money and I could make a lot of it.

But I don’t like doing it. I got into fitness by, first, dancing for hours in my childhood bedroom, making up choreography and learning the dances to Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, and a few others from watching their music videos on YouTube over and over again. Second, I watched Blogilates, and even though her videos are online, I fell in love with the community that group fitness creates.

So, of course, Zumba now sounds like the obvious choice for me. I really think this is it. I think I could teach Zumba for the rest of my life and really have fun and be happy. That’s what really matters. You do need money to live, but you need to find something you love doing to get that money. I don’t intend to waste my life in a job I hate.

Maybe I do have “Baila Esta Cumbia” by the wonderful Selena stuck in my head, but that’s a good thing because I’ve finally figured out what I want do with the fitness career part of my life. I’m still going to write, and maybe it will be a hobby, but I’m okay with that, because I’m going to have so much fun teaching Zumba and getting paid to work out. 

Holiday Time

Every time I hear the phrase “holiday time” I think of when Martin Short hosted SNL last year with Paul McCartney. I tried to find the video for you, but you just have to watch it on Netflix or something. I guess they pulled the video off of everywhere else on the internet. It just sucks on Netflix because for some reason they don’t have the musical guests’ performances on it.

Anyway, I’m over on the wet side of Washington now. I decided that “wet side” was more appropriate than “west side” even though both are true. I saw Saving Mr. Banks with my mom and brother yesterday. I cried. It was really well done. I really don’t care that it wasn’t 100% true to what actually happened. That wouldn’t be good storytelling. That’s something I’ve learned through all of my writing. Would you watch a 90-120 minute movie of P. L. Travers yelling at the Sherman brothers? No. But you would watch one of her yelling at them, flashing back to her past to tie into the present, and arguing with Walt Disney (plus, who doesn’t love Tom Hanks?). I’ve tried to write a book about my recovery many, many times, but it’s impossible to do without making up a whole bunch of stuff. That’s a thing. Any biographies you read or anything along that line, all of those stories in there have been embellished. Almost none of them will be 100% accurate because A, you can’t remember every single detail no matter how much of an impact this thing you’re writing on had on you, and B, it’s just not interesting enough to hold an audience if you don’t embellish. Sorry for the rant, but people don’t understand this and it really bothers me.

Anyway, today I’m hanging out with some friends and probably decorating my father-in-law’s Christmas cookies. I made cookies. I made those peanut butter blossom cookies. I want to eat them all. But I won’t. Just most of them. Then on Monday we’re having a family dinner with everyone, and then the Actor and I are going back home Christmas Eve to celebrate Christmas just the two of us.

I am still giving away personal training programs. If you’d like more information email me at this blog’s email: . I don’t have a website or email setup for my personal training business yet because I still haven’t been able to pick a name and I’m not good at technology. I know it’s the holidays, but in a week you’ll be wondering just how much I charge. 😉

If I don’t post before then, have a Happy Christmas!

It’s Time to Get Serious (Giveaway)

Now that I am a certified personal trainer, it’s time to take the next step. Not only am I working on my audition pieces for my theatre ensemble’s productions of Polaroid Stories, Les Mis, and the annual Radio Drama, but I am beginning to work on my personal training career. It hasn’t gotten very far in the past 36 hours, as to be expected, but that’s where you guys come in!

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From now (started yesterday, actually) until December 31st I am holding a giveaway of a free 12-week completely personalized personal training program to 4 people. They will be completely designed to fit you and your fitness goals. Plus you’ll get unlimited contact with me for any questions and concerns you have. Plus some extra special stuff, like maybe some new workout gear.

There are 2 ways to win. The first is you have follow my fitblr here at healthy-together and reblog this post as many times as you like. Every reblog gets you one entry, and there’s no limit to how many times you reblog it. If you don’t have a tumblr (I suggest you get one. They’re addicting), you can enter in the second way here (and also on tumblr). I am holding a contest for a name for my personal training “business” as right now it’s “Healthy Together” but I’m not too sure about it. So leave a comment on this post, or send me suggestions in my fitblr ask box.

To win I will pick 2 names from the business name contest part, and 2 other winners from the reblogging entry will be selected from a random generator. So if you enter both ways, which is totally allowed, you have a higher chance of winning.

I also want to make  it clear that no gym membership is required, but recommended. Or have a set of dumbbells of varying weight. If you don’t have either I can still construct an effective program. This will be online, unless you live where I do and have a membership to my same gym, in which case we can work out a time for me to train you in person. I will include videos and text, and like I said, my inbox will always be open to you.

I’m only having this short of a time to enter because the new year is so close and I wanted the winners to be able to get started on their fitness goals right away in 2014, but I might extend it if necessary.

So enter away! It’s a free program just for you. Just so you know, this is about an $80 value online, and if I train in person most trainers will charge $20-40 a session, and expect anywhere from 3-6 sessions a week. For 12 weeks, that’s a lot of money, and I’m offering this free. I look forward to training you!