It’s Not Everyday your Young Man Turns 22

Last Wednesday was the Actor’s birthday. I had been planning on doing this for over a year because I had originally planned it for his birthday last year, but my mom ended up in the hospital 9 days before so we were over on the West Side spending most of our time in the hospital when his birthday rolled around. We had kind of a lame celebration for his 21st because of that, so at least we got to make up for it this year. DSCN0915

It was a Harry Potter themed birthday! The “h” in “birthday” looks like an “a” because the frosting was being difficult. 


I even had a Hogwarts letter with supply list and apology letter for it being so late. 11 years too late. I aged the paper myself, but I don’t have pictures of it at the moment. I might try to post them up later. But I’d made the letter in Photoshop before my old computer died. I need to get Photoshop for my new computer. 


The snitches were Lindt Lindor white chocolate truffles because their wrapping is gold and it looks like they have wings. 

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Oh yeah, I cut my hair again. I look weird in this picture, but it’s super super short now and I love it! I don’t have to do anything to it when I wake up. 

All in all it was a good birthday. We went out to dinner with some friends before coming home to celebrate just us with the cake and everything. 


1 Year of Wedded Bliss

Not so blissful if you count the hospital scare, the car crash, the whole college thing, and the whole working and having bills to try to pay on minimum wage thing. But it was still nice to be married. Since our anniversary was the start of finals week there wasn’t much we could do. I got work off but still had a final and the Actor has a whole bunch tomorrow that he spent most of Monday preparing for, but we still went out for dinner and I made a cake.

Since the first anniversary is the paper anniversary I decided to kind of theme it like Paperman, the short they played before Wreck It Ralph.



I gave him a roll of toilet paper as a joke.





Red velvet cake with cream cheese filling and frosting. I tried to copy the decorations from our wedding cake with icing.

Desserts from Olive Garden. They’re doing their 2 for $25 again so we got dessert basically for free. Can’t pass up a deal like that.

It’s been a good year. I kid when I say it hasn’t at the top. I mean it hasn’t been happily ever after fairy tale, but when is life ever like that? We look forward to another wonderful year. I can’t believe it’s already been an entire year already. A year ago I was… probably asleep in Walt Disney World after taking an almost 6 hour flight, and I would take that over getting up to go to work this morning. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings.

Losing your Hope

The Actor and I went to see The Amazing Spider-Man 2 last night. It was incredible. Definitely better than Winter Soldier by a long shot. And if you haven’t seen it yet and want see it, then just know that it was amazing and beautiful and wonderful and go see it and then stop reading because this isn’t a movie review blog and there are spoilers ahead.

*SPOILER WARNING! You have been warned. Read at your own risk.*

I knew what was going to happen within the first few minutes of the movie when Peter is on the front of a police car taking on his cell phone with Gwen and sees her dad in the police car next to him. And then when they had their little confrontation outside of the Chinese restaurant where they broke up. I knew it and I sat there and gasped which probably confused anyone around me who heard. The Actor knows by now that I can figure this stuff out within the first 20 minutes of the movie and is (hopefully) used to my gasping so he didn’t seem phased. They establish in the film that Spider Man gives people hope, but Gwen is his hope, and in the final scene when Harry as the Green Goblin comes out to kill Peter, he takes Gwen, drops her into a clock tower, and then he and Peter fight while Gwen quite literally dangles by a thread. The thread snaps. Peter jumps and in a painful slow-motion shot of the web reaching for Gwen we see it. It attaches to Gwen just inches above the ground. The force pulls her chest upward, causing her head to continue on its downward journey before snapping back up with the rest of her body. In that moment we know she is gone. Peter climbs down to her as her body hangs just a foot or less off the floor, and there he holds her in his arms, begging for her to wake up, but she doesn’t. Now, Andrew Garfield is an amazing actor. He’s absolutely brilliant, and this movie showcased a lot of his talents. Being able to reach down inside himself to bring out real, total anguish is one them.

And I cried along with him. Not like movie crying where you tear up and you get the lump in your throat and maybe your nose runs a little because, hey, that was sad, but it’s only a movie.

No. This was like full on sobbing. It took all my strength not start bawling. I had the gasping breathing going on and the tears running down my cheeks, the whole package except with volume on 1 because no one else was that sad.

And why was I that sad? Because I live with the fear of that situation happening to me every day. I wake up in the middle of the night and my first instinct is to make sure the Actor is still breathing. He’s perfectly healthy. There is no logical reason to do that, but I do. At least once a week this happens to me. And when he comes home late and I couldn’t get a hold of him, for those minutes between when he should be home and when he actually gets home I literally cannot function. I can sit and I can try to breathe, but that is it. I feel the sadness, the fear, the worry, deep down inside me and it holds onto me and will not let go. If it’s at night and he’s not coming home until after I’m supposed to be asleep for work tomorrow I can count on being tired at work the next day because there is no sleeping until I know that he is safe at home. We live in a stupidly tiny town. No where in this town does the speed limit go above 25 mph. The last time someone got shot was last year and we’re pretty sure it was drug related, but that was it. In the 2 years I’ve lived here there has been like 1 death not from natural causes. The town is so white and conservative there is basically nothing to worry about at all. But I do. (I didn’t mean the white and conservative bit to be racist to POC because I am one and that’s just stupid. I mean it because they’re all really old guys who probably all own guns and don’t hold much intelligence, but enough to not go shooting college students. I mean the only thing we really have to worry about here is stupidity.)

I cried because I understood Peter’s pain, and I am so afraid of that pain becoming my reality.

They resolve it on a happy note. Aunt May is packing up Uncle Ben’s things and tells Peter it’s not getting rid of it, just finding a better place for it, and he packs up his father’s stuff and Gwen’s pictures except for one which he puts on his desk, and in the final minutes of the movie he returns to work as Spider Man after a five month mourning period. So, from what we can tell, he does move on, and there are rumors that now they’re going to bring in Mary Jane for the 3rd and 4th movies, but I cannot imagine ever moving on and finding my Mary Jane if anything should ever happen to the Actor. He is my hope, and you take that away from me and I will have nothing left.

Welcome Home

The Actor is finally home! I picked him up yesterday around four-thirty and we had the best night ever. Well, we went to bed at like 8:30. I woke up really early to get ready for him to come home, and he took a 7 hour bus ride, so we were both exhausted. We slept for at least 12 hours and it was great. Now he’s at work until dinner time but it’s okay. I’m just happy he’s back.

I made this banner and also made my special secret family cookies.


They’re shaped like pretzels and are the best things ever. Every time I make them people fall in love with them. Are they “clean”? Who the heck cares? They’re delicious.

And I actually tried to look nice. Yes, that is a brace on my wrist. I’m pretty sure I either twisted or tore the muscles more than you usually do when you exercise, because I have weak wrists and have been trying to specifically strengthen them. It’s been hurting for two weeks so I try to wear a brace when I work my arms. Yesterday I forgot and it was bi’s and tri’s day, so that was kind of a disaster. On the plus side, my arms are sore today.

The Actor brought me huckleberry jelly beans from Boise. I love huckleberries. I used to take annual trips to Kimberley, Canada with my grandparents and we would stop up in north Montana at this huckleberry restaurant where they sold all kinds of meals with huckleberries. It was my favorite part of the trip. Next to the bakery in the Platzl with the best donuts and pretzel buns.

I’m not ready for the week to start tomorrow. This weekend has been too short. I also just really, really, really don’t want to go my honors course. I just want to sit on my couch with my husband and relax all week.

The Best Quarter of my Life


“Wait, you’re married?”


“How long have you been together?”

“Five years.”

That usually gets people to stop judging. When a couple has been successfully together for five years, getting married just makes sense. Which it did. Yep, today we’ve been together for five years, which is basically a quarter of my life. The first quarter I spent as an only child, and that was interesting. Then the next two were, well, unhappy roller coasters. But this last one has been the best. It is hard to believe it has been so many years because it feels like it has and hasn’t been that long.

Now that we’re married we aren’t making as big a deal out of this anniversary as we have in the past, but we are going out to dinner tonight before the Actor goes to rehearsal.


Christmas 2013

It took very little convincing of the Actor when I suggested that we spend our first married Christmas at home just the two of us. It just didn’t sound fun to go and spend Christmas Day driving all around western Washington to see random family members and watch them frown when we had to leave to go see other family members. I don’t know why they’d frown. We’re not that exciting.

We got up around noon, and opened presents while listening to the Christmas station on Pandora. I got the Actor Pokemon Y for this 3DS and he spent most of the day playing it. It looks really cool. I also go him a fuzzy blanket because it’s freezing in our apartment, a book on auditioning, Now You See Me, and Nowhere Boy. He got me The Princess Bride, Monsters U, Kirby’s Epic Yarn for the Wii, the soundtrack to Frozen, and Lana Del Ray’s Born to Die album. I love her.

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After that I made orange rolls for breakfast/lunch.

DSCN0739I watched Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade on YouTube after that, which made me really happy because I thought I would have to miss it this year since we don’t have cable. It made me really want to go to Disneyland again. I hope we can soon. It’s been over a year since I was at Disneyland.

DSCN0742  I made ratatouille and chicken cordon bleu for the Actor while watching an old House of Mouse Christmas special and Elf. If you’ve never made ratatouille it’s delicious and easy. I think I’ll add mushrooms next time though, because mushrooms make everything better.

We spent the rest of the night baking an apple pie while watching Lincoln and Monsters U. I watched an internet Christmas countdown clock go from “merry christmas” to “363 days 23 hours 59 mins.” Time to get ready for next year. That’s actually not a bad idea to get all of next year’s presents now, but I’ll probably wait until November like I did this year.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and are ready for the new year. I know I’m not!

6 Months

Well, today’s post is going to be kinda short because I have an essay I should write. Today I have been married for 6 months. Yay! How great is that? It’s weird to think that six months ago I was getting ready for my wedding day. I think by now I had my hair in curls pinned to my head where they would stay for the next two-three hours before dousing my head in hair spray so that the curls would last at least through the pictures and the ceremony. Which they did. It was such a great day…

curlfestthegorgeousbridefirstdanceThese were taken mostly by my bridesmaids and uploaded to my wedpics album. It was a nice thing to have. We got to see some pictures of the wedding while we waited for the professional ones to be finished, and one of my girls is amazing at photography. It’s been six months, and oh, how I wish I could go back and relive it because it was just wonderful.

Today’s challenge question isn’t very interesting: What’s one thing you use every day?

My phone. My hair brush. My comb. The shower. The toilet. The sink. The fridge. My computer. I know it said one thing, but come on, this isn’t very exciting.

All right, as soon as I write this paper I’ll be done with my finals! I have to present a scene tomorrow but we’ve been working on it for 3-4 weeks now, my professor is amazing, and I’ve got my own personal acting coach who is also my husband so I’m not worried. All right. I have to go write it now. If I can get it done before work that’d be great. Ok. Go write. Now. Now. Now…