New Year’s Resolutions 2013

I’m not usually one to make resolutions, but for some reason this year I’d made some.

2013Number 1: Exercise 5-6 days a week for 60 minutes. I did a pretty good job with this one, but after a few months I realized that you can have really effective workouts without working for 60 minutes. I started exercising 4 days a week for 30-60 minutes and had better results than before. I wasn’t burning out. I was lifting heavy, allowing myself to rest, and working at a higher intensity because I had a shorter period of time to work out. You’ve got to make every second count no matter how much time you have. I wouldn’t say I failed, I just got more educated and experienced.

Number 2: eat  more veggies. This became really easy once we got our apartment. I would eat basically just veggie wraps when I lived on campus, but living off has made it easier to try new things. I have a green monster smoothie for breakfast (banana and spinach and whatever else I throw in there) and we try to have a vegetable with every dinner.

Number 3: Drink more water. I really don’t know why I put this in here because I drink an insane amount of water every day. 

Number 4: focus on weight training 2-3 days a week. This is pretty much all I do now along with HIIT and Pylo, and I’m trying to do more yoga. I think I finally found a program I enjoy. I’m more of a fast paced person. I can’t just do a slow yoga flow.

Number 5: stop wishing I could look like someone else and focus on what I could become. Did it. I’ve stopped looking at fitspo and wishing I could look like that. I look at it because it comes up on my tumblr dashboard, but that’s it.

Number 6: have a kick ass wedding and start a great marriage. I think I did this pretty well. I loved our wedding. It couldn’t have gone any better. And our marriage has yet to hit any rough spots that have to do with us. When my mom was in the hospital it was kind of tough, but that wasn’t anything we could really do anything about.

Number 7: focus on becoming the best person I can be. That has been my focus, yes. I can always improve, and that’s what’s important.

Number 8: Keep a positive body image. I did this fairly well. With my ED and depression and anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder (long list of disorders) it definitely hasn’t been easy, but it’s pretty cool to realize that I’ve done fairly well with it. I don’t have as much negative talk lately. There were some times throughout the year when it was bad, but the majority of the time was really good, and I’m happy about that.

I don’t know if I’m going to make any resolutions this year. Probably not. I kinda forgot that I’d made these and they’re just not that important to me. Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! Have an awesome celebration tonight. I cannot wait until tomorrow. Sherlock! If you haven’t seen the show yet it’s on Netflix. Go watch it right now. I mean it.


2013 July to December

Does anyone else think we need to end the year on a “J” month just to nicely bookend the year? I mean January to June is six months. I think six months later we need another “J” month. Anyway…

July: This month I reviewed Disneyland and WDW after finally experiencing both. I also wrote several rather deep and meaningful posts.


August: It began rather harshly. I reflected on the media’s treatment of eating disorders and how my story is not newsworthy, though it probably should be. Then, my mom ended up in the hospital and I flipped out. But, after some time passed I was able to post this rather calm and informative post. Then I got back into weight and health, specifically body shaming. I ended on a positive note. I hung out with my best friend and husband at the Seattle Slut Walk.


September: My mom finally got to go home and get her defibrillator. I started my Fitness Trainer certification, and decided that my husband and I are crazy. We went to the Puyallup Fair the night my mom got her surgery, which was a good distraction. Then, another tragedy struck when I lost my laptop to a thunderstorm. I tried to educate people on total body fat but I don’t think I made much of an impact. I turned twenty and started school on the same day. And I made the decision to finally, officially go vegan.


October: I was reminded of why I write this blog to start off. I also got into the importance of exercise again because I care about people. I covered a rather destructive fad diet. And I came to my senses and decided not to double major. Honestly, most of the classes in the theatre major were just not worth my time anyway. I got sick on Halloween so I didn’t go to any parties or have much fun. I think I sat and watched Netflix movies all day.

November: November was rather post heavy. The Scary Weight Room. I freaked out more about my recovery. I got my first tattoo, and have already designed my second one, but I don’t think I’ll get it until the spring if I can wait that long. I talked about my way of doing things and the thought that lurks in my mind about not being sick enough to recover. We went and saw Brian Regan in Yakima. Most importantly, I tried to dispel all the myths around Thanksgiving ruining diets.

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December: We hit the 6 month mark of being married. I addressed the problem with fitspiration and clean eating. I became a certified fitness trainer!!! I am currently available for hire for free. I need to set up my business (once I figure out a name for it) and do all that stuff, but I want to start helping people now, so if you’re interested send me a message at or to the email connected with this blog. I just got my official certificate in the mail today, too.

The Actor and I celebrated our first Christmas together.

Overall, it’s been a good year, minus two very sad things. I cannot wait to see what happens in 2014!

Christmas 2013

It took very little convincing of the Actor when I suggested that we spend our first married Christmas at home just the two of us. It just didn’t sound fun to go and spend Christmas Day driving all around western Washington to see random family members and watch them frown when we had to leave to go see other family members. I don’t know why they’d frown. We’re not that exciting.

We got up around noon, and opened presents while listening to the Christmas station on Pandora. I got the Actor Pokemon Y for this 3DS and he spent most of the day playing it. It looks really cool. I also go him a fuzzy blanket because it’s freezing in our apartment, a book on auditioning, Now You See Me, and Nowhere Boy. He got me The Princess Bride, Monsters U, Kirby’s Epic Yarn for the Wii, the soundtrack to Frozen, and Lana Del Ray’s Born to Die album. I love her.

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After that I made orange rolls for breakfast/lunch.

DSCN0739I watched Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade on YouTube after that, which made me really happy because I thought I would have to miss it this year since we don’t have cable. It made me really want to go to Disneyland again. I hope we can soon. It’s been over a year since I was at Disneyland.

DSCN0742  I made ratatouille and chicken cordon bleu for the Actor while watching an old House of Mouse Christmas special and Elf. If you’ve never made ratatouille it’s delicious and easy. I think I’ll add mushrooms next time though, because mushrooms make everything better.

We spent the rest of the night baking an apple pie while watching Lincoln and Monsters U. I watched an internet Christmas countdown clock go from “merry christmas” to “363 days 23 hours 59 mins.” Time to get ready for next year. That’s actually not a bad idea to get all of next year’s presents now, but I’ll probably wait until November like I did this year.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and are ready for the new year. I know I’m not!

2013 in Review (part 1)

First of all:


muppets1 muppets2 muppets3 Yes, it’s Christmas Eve. Somehow 2013 has come to a close and we’ve got one week left to enjoy of the year. It’s kinda nice to end it with family and good food and gifts. I hope that you all have a wonderful Christmas, and that you can wait that last week for the new season of Sherlock because I know I barely can!

I’m reviewing 2013 today in terms of the entertainment rather than the events. This year I started off doing nothing really but homework, and didn’t really read anything or start any shows or anything like that. I did see a lot of movies, I read a few (very long) books, and finished several TV shows.

gatsby I’ve read this book 3 times this year. I got to study it for my Eng 303 class, and the movie was just brilliant.

muI don’t think this could have been any better. The bit with the RAs in the beginning, so accurate. It was really cute, and I really enjoyed it.

wintertaleMy aunt had given this to us last year and over the summer I finally got a chance to read it at work. They’re making a movie out of it now, which after reading it, I can’t really see as possible because of how much there is to it, but I’ll of course give it a chance, and I don’t expect it to be close to the book very much. It’s really good, and if you have a month to spare, it’s a good read.

waltdisneyAfter Winter’s Tale I decided I wasn’t done reading ridiculously long books, and decided that this 600 page biography on Walt Disney would be fun. It was really interesting, because they covered everything and not just popular knowledge. For example, we don’t really know how Mickey Mouse was created, or where, or who gave him his name. Everyone thinks it was Walt Disney’s wife, but there are accounts from her saying both. It was really interesting.

deadlikemeI loved this show, and am still so sad that they cancelled it. And the movie they made was awful. But the show was brilliant and I miss it. I might buy the whole series for myself sometime because my aunt had loaned it to us and we just gave it back in November.

madmenI cannot wait for the new season! If you haven’t seen Mad Men yet you need to get on it. You’ve got plenty of time to catch up. I think the Actor and I watched all the seasons in a month. Probably less. It’s wonderful, well written, well acted, beautiful, just ugh. The way they do everything is just perfect.

sherlcokTHIS. Oh, my goodness, I cannot wait for season 3 to begin. I watched this in October, but most of the fandom have been waiting 2 years for season 3, which after the season 2 finale I would have just died waiting so long. It’s absolutely brilliant. It is the best version of Sherlock Holmes you’ll ever see, and it’s Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. Like, come on. Go watch it! It’s on Netflix!

inkI made the mistake of buying this book for myself in August when I was dropping off my brother at the airport while my mom was still in the hospital. I decided I deserved a treat. The book is amazing. It was a mistake because it’s the first in a series and it was released this year, meaning I have to wait a long time before the next one comes out. I normally just wait until they’re all out and then read them all at once because I’m impatient. I still recommend this, though.

breakingbadOk, so we just finished this a week or two ago, and oh man. It was intense! It was good, but a bit too much for me. When there wasn’t blood everywhere I could watch it. When Walter White wasn’t being a psycho, I could watch it, but let’s just say I’ve made a lot of progress on the blanket I’m crocheting.

frzoenWHOO! Frozen! I am obsessed with this movie. If you haven’t seen it yet definitely go see it. The animation is beautiful, the songs are great, and the story is just wow. I did not see that coming!

catchingfireThis got me really riled up about the world. I was like, “yeah! Gonna be politically active and stuff!” They did such a good job with it. I loved it. Do not bring your toddlers and small children to it like some idiot did who sat next to us. One of their little girls ended up climbing into her mom’s lap because she was so scared. Come on people. Jeez.

brianreganIf you are unfamiliar with Brian Regan go get familiar. We saw him in Yakima last month and were just dying. He’s hilarious.

savingmrbanksAgain, great movie, loved it, it was beautiful, they did a wonderful job. I especially loved that they recreated Walt’s office.

So I saw a lot of stuff this year. I know I left some out, but these are just my choice favorites. Now go have a happy Christmas! Eat whatever the heck you want and don’t worry about anything. Unless you’re in a bikini competition in March or something. Enjoy your family and the food, make it special, because you never know when you’re going to have to celebrate those things without someone. You don’t want to remember the last time you saw them for Christmas as the time when you freaked the fuck out over your diet.

Happy Christmas!    

Holiday Time

Every time I hear the phrase “holiday time” I think of when Martin Short hosted SNL last year with Paul McCartney. I tried to find the video for you, but you just have to watch it on Netflix or something. I guess they pulled the video off of everywhere else on the internet. It just sucks on Netflix because for some reason they don’t have the musical guests’ performances on it.

Anyway, I’m over on the wet side of Washington now. I decided that “wet side” was more appropriate than “west side” even though both are true. I saw Saving Mr. Banks with my mom and brother yesterday. I cried. It was really well done. I really don’t care that it wasn’t 100% true to what actually happened. That wouldn’t be good storytelling. That’s something I’ve learned through all of my writing. Would you watch a 90-120 minute movie of P. L. Travers yelling at the Sherman brothers? No. But you would watch one of her yelling at them, flashing back to her past to tie into the present, and arguing with Walt Disney (plus, who doesn’t love Tom Hanks?). I’ve tried to write a book about my recovery many, many times, but it’s impossible to do without making up a whole bunch of stuff. That’s a thing. Any biographies you read or anything along that line, all of those stories in there have been embellished. Almost none of them will be 100% accurate because A, you can’t remember every single detail no matter how much of an impact this thing you’re writing on had on you, and B, it’s just not interesting enough to hold an audience if you don’t embellish. Sorry for the rant, but people don’t understand this and it really bothers me.

Anyway, today I’m hanging out with some friends and probably decorating my father-in-law’s Christmas cookies. I made cookies. I made those peanut butter blossom cookies. I want to eat them all. But I won’t. Just most of them. Then on Monday we’re having a family dinner with everyone, and then the Actor and I are going back home Christmas Eve to celebrate Christmas just the two of us.

I am still giving away personal training programs. If you’d like more information email me at this blog’s email: . I don’t have a website or email setup for my personal training business yet because I still haven’t been able to pick a name and I’m not good at technology. I know it’s the holidays, but in a week you’ll be wondering just how much I charge. 😉

If I don’t post before then, have a Happy Christmas!


So I’m back home now, sitting in my lame chair because we don’t have a couch yet, our Christmas tree lights on, waiting for the clothes to be done in the dryer downstairs. I really wish we had a washer and dryer in-unit. Thanksgiving was a lot of fun, and I did not gain any weight which makes my ED and myself happy. I got to see my kitty who missed me, but we didn’t stay with my mom so I didn’t get to see nearly as much of her as I should have.

I took one picture all break.


First married Thanksgiving. So much fun. It’s gonna be hard if I ever have to host because I will not be making a turkey. Someone will have to bring it if they really want it.

So, it’s December now. I have one week of class left before finals and I’ve already finished one of my final papers. It’s one I have to spend the most time on, but I finished it in an hour. I’ll take some time to edit it tomorrow after I’ve had some distance and time to think. Only two weeks of work left. Should be fun.

Since it is December I thought I would do a challenge. Last month of blogging for this year, so why not? It can be found here (I spend way too much time on Tumblr).

Day 1: Write ten facts about yourself.

1. I have always loved sweatshirts and prefer them to regular coats. I don’t really know why. They’re just warmer, even though they are a pain to take off.

2. I get really fed up when people don’t know that weight loss doesn’t work that way and try all those crazy fad diets. But I guess after spending 4 years and $500+ on health and fitness education I would know more than most people.

3. It bothers me when people tell me I’m pretty until they’ve said it like ten times because then I believe them. The first few they’re obviously only doing out of pity because they know I have an ED, depression, and body dysmorphic disorder (but they actually don’t).

4. When I was a kid I told people blue was my favorite color because it was my dad’s and I thought that would make him like me. I did the same thing when I joined band years later, except I played the flute instead of the clarinet, so that didn’t help either.

5. I can’t sleep if there is a ticking clock in the room. It will keep me up all night.

6. I’m bisexual, which according to my family means I am “indecisive” and “only kidding myself” and “just doing it to impress guys”. I’m married. I don’t have anyone to impress.

7. I have about five more tattoos planned, even the spots I’m going to get them and can hardly wait until I can get my next one.

8. Yogurt pretzels are my weakness.

9. I can no longer digest dairy products by themselves. If I put milk in a smoothie I can have that, but I can’t have straight milk or yogurt anymore, which is a good thing I guess since I’m going vegan and all.

10. I have a personal bias toward Tom Hanks and Julie Andrews because they are the first two actors I became aware were actors and not just characters. I don’t know if I thought movies were documentaries or something when I was a kid, but those two were the first I was able to recognize in their different movies as being the same people just playing different characters.

Happy December everyone! Happy 5th night of Hanukkah and I cannot wait for Christmas! I also should be a certified personal trainer in time for the new year so watch out for that if you’re interested in personal fitness programs.

Why Thanksgiving did not Ruin your Diet

I see this everywhere, especially the week of Thanksgiving: “How can I burn off all that I ate/will eat at Thanksgiving?” “There goes my diet. Gonna have to start all over again.” “Should I fast before Thanksgiving?”

No, no, no, no, no, NO.

Let me explain something. I’m twenty years old. I weigh probably somewhere between 110 and 120. I gave up the scale, finally, and I also just don’t own one (it’s very liberating). I am 5’2. I work out 4-6 days a week depending on how busy my schedule is and what my current fitness goals are. According to all this I need to be eating between 1800-2200 calories per day in order for my body to sustain itself. So if I’m a short little girl who needs to eat 2200 calories, imagine how much you should be eating so your body can function (just make sure it’s good food and not crap). Whoever came up with 1200 was crazy, although going below that for anyone is very dangerous, it just does not mean that you cannot go any higher that 1200 calories. You should.

One day of eating more than usual is not going to make you gain weight unless you ate on top of whatever your BMR+activity level is (my BMR is about 1300 and my activity level makes it 1800-2200) 3500 calories, which for me would be 5700 calories, you will gain weight, and guess what? If I ate that much in one day I would gain 1 pound. Just one pound. One. 1.

What do you eat on Thanksgiving? Mashed potatoes. Sweet potatoes. Turkey. Gravy. Cranberry sauce. Green beans. Pie of some sort. Look at all those things and then think about what you normally eat. Processed foods? Fast food hamburgers and french fries? Nasty “diet” drinks full of chemicals and nothing nutritious? If that’s your diet then what you just ate on Thanksgiving is a hell of a lot better for you than all that stuff. Maybe what you normally eat is healthy. So then how is Thanksgiving any different than what you eat every other day of the year?

Definitely do not overdo it in the gym after Thanksgiving because that will rev up your metabolism which will burn off stuff faster, but also will make you hungrier so you’ll eat more. It’s very counter productive. Do not fast or do any kind of a cleanse because this will slow your metabolism down and make it take longer to burn off any calories you’ve previously consumed or will consume.

So you did not ruin your diet with Thanksgiving. Even if you ate three slices of pie like I did. Even if you had seconds and thirds. Even if all you did was eat and sit and watch football. One day does not undo everything. You are fine. Say it. “I am fine.” Besides, it was Thanksgiving. Instead of worrying about your “diet” you should have been enjoying the company of your family and friends.