I still can’t quite understand that’s February already. You know what I mean? It’s also weird to me that we’re already 10 days in February, which means I’ve had my fur child for a month now.
She’s crazy and has decided that feet are really fun toys, jumping from the floor to the top of the dresser (which comes up to my shoulders btw) is a fun game, and meowing nonstop even after she’s been fed is a good idea. Her meow is adorable, though so I don’t mind. She even sleeps at my feet at night now. If I don’t let her into the bedroom she scratches at the door and yowls pitifully, so it’s nonnegotiable that she sleep with me at this point.
I’ve also been at my new job for a month on Friday, but I have training for another new job next week on the 16th. I’m contemplating working two jobs and never having a day off, but that sounds awful, but bills also have to get paid somehow and I’m the only employed one in the apartment. You can’t make a cat work…
Other than Luna and working, I’ve been attempting to keep bulking. I did the last day of phase 1 of Crush Mass Effect today and last I checked I’d gained 3 pounds. My waist has stayed pretty much the same so I’m assuming that’s mostly muscle but I don’t know. My ED brain is not happy with me gaining weight or inches of any kind, and most days when I’m not in the gym I’m wrestling with how much cardio to add on to my hour long lifting sessions and if I should even try to bulk or not. Rationally I know that just losing weight would have ended up putting me at a higher body fat percentage than I was already at, so bulking was really the only option that made sense, but I’m still struggling with it. Thankfully, I don’t have to wear jeans at either of my jobs so I can live in leggings until I get to a cutting phase.
I don’t understand why I can’t just bulk and cut without having to freak out all the time about getting fat. My brain just automatically assumes that any weight I’ve gained must be just fat.
When I’m not being depressed I’m driving Kylo Ren around (my car),
exploring Seattle and Tacoma, trying to find some sun over here (seriously, where is it?) going standing up paddle boarding with my friend or thrift shopping, or just spending hours watching Netflix and trying to figure out this thing that is my life. Eventually I’ll get a handle on this adult thing.