Despite my total depressive funk, I have been pulling off this whole adulting thing rather well.
I’m not saying I’m enjoying it entirely, but it definitely is better than being a kid and not being able to do things. Still, I could do without the taxes and bills…
But I’ve done some very adult things. I’ve gotten a good handle on my new job. I think I’m about ready to stop training soon, which means I’ll be able to accept tips which is very good because I am very poor. I bought a couch. I bought a car. I took my cat to the vet twice now and despite her respiratory infection, have managed to keep her alive for 2 full weeks.
And on top of all this I’m still going to the gym to get my Crush on every day, even the past few days when I had to go to work an hour after the gym opened. While I don’t recommend doing Mass Effect workouts in half the time you’re supposed to do them in, I did that three times and somehow have not died.
I don’t want to get optimistic without cause, but I think this week should go fairly smoothly. I’ve got a bit more of a solid sleeping schedule down so I can make it to my 5:30 AM shifts this week without completely dying. I’m getting the antibiotics for Luna. I’ve got my own car so I don’t have to negotiate with the Actor anymore about who gets to drive Captain Jack where (that’s the name of our first car).
My depression and anxiety isn’t 100% in order. Whenever I get anxious I have the weird in between feeling of wanting/needing to do everything and then wanting/needing to do nothing at the same time because of depression. It’s not wanting to do something and then panicking about it. It’s great.
But, Disney is always the remedy. Or New Girl. Or The Office. Basically I lay on my couch and binge watch a lot of stuff when I’m not doing adult things. So this weekend and today was me at adult level 4, but after that I’ll probably hover more around level 1 and level 2 unless another emergency arises.
I’ve been trying to plan more of a blogging and filming schedule and if I can kick my butt into gear tonight will hopefully get something planned out so I can stop blogging so sporadically. Maybe a schedule will help me push through the funk. Fake it till you make it, basically.