This doesn’t really mean anything, I just wanted to blog about it.
I saw an info graphic on stress and how to reduce it just a minute ago. Every thing it included I already do, with the exception of reiki because there isn’t a center nearby, but I would totally love to try that, and I still end up with lots of stress. Well, duh, you might be saying, you have anxiety. You were clinically diagnosed with anxiety and spent about six months in therapy for it. Yes, this is true, but it wasn’t until I saw that graphic that the reality of that really hit me. I know I suffer from anxiety. I deal with it on a daily basis so it’s not something I can ignore or forget about, but for some reason it didn’t really feel real until just now. I didn’t really recognize that this is something different about myself from others until right now.
I will probably deal with this for a while. I am currently not in therapy probably because I have anxiety about getting back into it and I feel like since the quarter has started I have missed my chance to call and see a therapist so maybe next quarter. I also want to try this without therapy a little while longer, but I haven’t kept up what my last therapist had me doing so I know that’s not helping me much and I need to fix that.
The good news is that this quarter is much better than Winter or Spring. I am currently dealing with a teeny tiny head cold and I am just happy it is not as bad as the colds I got when I was working breakfast were. Anxiety + lack of sleep = the worst colds you’ll ever have in your life. I seriously thought I was dying a couple times. I should be completely better by Wednesday, and even now I just have slight congestion. My classes are going well so far, too, and I love my coworkers this quarter. I usually do, but we spend the entire shift laughing.
I hope I can work through this more. I can usually identify what is causing the anxiety but that rarely makes it go away because then I get anxious for worrying about something so silly. I need to come up with a name for Anxiety like I had for Ana… Any suggestions?