Yesterday morning I woke up at 6:30 AM and every 10-15 minutes after that to make sure I didn’t sleep through my final therapy session. Have I ever slept through a session before? No. But I have anxiety, and I’d had a nightmare the night before that I had missed it and didn’t realize I’d missed it until twelve hours later that night. Waking up from that certainly was a relief.
At about 9:45 I hugged my therapist goodbye and walked out of the clinic.
I don’t remember when I started going back to therapy. Sometime in January or February, but I’ve been with the same therapist ever since then, every week for about 45 minutes each session, and now that we are in the final week of summer quarter for my uni the health clinic will be closing and my therapist has completed her internship and will no longer be working at the clinic. I don’t know where she is going, or if there are even rules that I can’t be her patient anymore once she’s working somewhere else, but I know I’ve only got about 16 months left in this town before I leave, so it was goodbye. I was really sad to say goodbye and to walk out of that office because I have grown so much in the past, let’s say 7, months that I have been seeing her, and I really was able to feel comfortable with her and build up a connection. I wasn’t sure if I would continue with therapy in the fall, but I think I will. It will be with someone else and we’ll have to get through some backstory again, but I am better off now than I was 7 months ago when I went in after my anxiety attack at work.
The clinic is going to be closed from August 22 to September 25th, so I probably won’t see anyone until the beginning of October. That’s a long time to go without, but I went without for years after my last therapy discharged me from her care in, I wanna say 2011.
I am a little nervous to be without therapy for a while, and I am nervous to start with someone new in the fall, but it’s all worth it and that’s all that matters.