Do What You Want with Your Body

In 2008 I was very single. I was 15. I was a freshman in high school. I was ready to face my future, although at the time I was upset that I was being forced to decide on something that wasn’t going to happen for another 4 years, but that is beside the point. At the time I had two guys who liked me that I liked back romantically. One was an old friend from middle school, and the other was the Actor. We had a long winter break due to a weird amount of snow for western Washington and I spent that break on MySpace chatting with both Old Friend and the Actor. Old Friend and I hung out once over that break. I walked to his house in the snow and we spent the day playing video games, making snowmen, and making cookies. It was a fine time. As a side note, I think I left my cookies at his house because my ED was kicking in and I didn’t want to have sweets to tempt me at home, especially with the holidays so close. His parents drove me home in their 4 wheel drive car and that was that. I went out with the Actor on New Year’s Day a few weeks later. I have to admit that my heart was racing during most of the date and I was anxious and nervous but pleasantly excited. The day I’d spent with Old Friend I considered a play date, but this with the Actor was something completely different. It was the beginning, I’d hoped, of a long and wonderful courtship. We saw a movie and then got drinks at Starbucks where we sat and talked until the mall started to close.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some feelings for Old Friend at the time. We’d had three years in middle school to get to know one another and he was the first boy I could ever admit to have liking. But we never had a romantic relationship.

So I went into 2009 leaning toward the Actor, but holding on to Old Friend a bit. That all changed the day I cut my hair.

I chopped it all off, much like I just recently did. At least a foot of hair was chopped off and donated and I walked into school the next morning quite pleased with my new ‘do. I loved how light it felt and pretty I looked in the mirror. Old Friend was not pleased. I had mentioned wanting to cut my hair during our winter break play date and he told me quite certainly that he preferred girls with long hair. When he saw me that morning I could see the look of dissatisfaction with my new hair cut. I asked if he liked it. “No,” he said, “I like long hair on girls better.”

Now, I can’t say for certain that that was what sealed the deal on choosing who I was going to date, but it certainly helped. The Actor told me at every chance that he got just how much he liked my hair. I got multiple compliments from him on it in the first week after it was cut. The way the Actor and Old Friend reacted told me a lot about both guys. Old Friend wanted someone who would do and be what he wanted. The Actor was someone who would be comfortable with me doing whatever I wanted.

Because I didn’t cut my hair for either of them. I didn’t cut it in rebellion to Old Friend’s comment, and I didn’t cut it because I thought the Actor would like it. I cut it because I wanted it to be short. I cut my hair for me. And when I saw the Actor accepting me for me I knew he was the better guy to be with.

Girls have no obligation to dress or look a certain way to please a guy, and looking back, I am happy that at 15 I had already realized that. If you want to cut your hair do it. If you want to wear a certain outfit do it. It does not matter at all if a guy or girl or whoever does not like it because you are not doing it for them. You are doing it for you. And if someone does not like it, then they are not accepting you for who you are and are not worth your time.

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One thought on “Do What You Want with Your Body

  1. I really like this reminder, because I think girls are way too concerned about what guys (and sometimes other girls) think about their appearance. But at the same time, I also wish society was less judgmental when girls do choose to dress or look a certain way. For example, I wear makeup every day, but I’m definitely not doing it to attract a guy — I just do it because I like having fun with makeup. Same with my choice in clothes, I’m not really trying to impress anyone, it’s just my style. So I agree that girls should dress and look however they want, without being judged either way.

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