When I first entered recovery I did all kinds of research. How do you recover? How do other people recover? I read books, blogs, articles, everything I could find. There had to be some kind of magical formula that would guarantee my recovery. Like, “Day 1 do this, Day 2 do that, etc.” Eventually, I figured out that there was no magical way to recover. I just had to do it my own way. I had to make my own journey, my own mistakes, my own recovery, because that was what it was. It was my recovery. Not anyone else’s. I wasn’t recovering for someone else’s body. I was doing it for me.
I did this kind of thing for a lot of other aspects of my life.
School: there had to be some way to study that was universal; some way of taking notes. They tried teaching us “Cornell notes” and after realizing that I could not learn or retain anything I wrote down with those notes, I stopped doing it, even though it resulted in a drop in my grade because you got graded on how you took notes.
Exercising: whatever this chick is doing probably will work for me. Not. I have my own program now that I created for myself and I’m seeing amazing results from it, but only because I took the time to learn about myself and what works and what doesn’t work for me.
People probably do this kind of thing all the time, too. “Oh, this successful person did X so I have to do X, too.” Wrong! You have to do what will work for you, and that is not always what worked for someone else. Most of the time it’s not what worked for someone else. You have to find what works for you.
My husband did not have this problem with his acting. Or, maybe he did but he got over it a lot faster. He has studied just about every acting teacher there ever was, every method, everything, and he has found what works for him, and he is a brilliant actor. The Actor will be in classes where professors will say, “Do it this way,” but the Actor knows that way won’t help him. He’ll do the assignment, but knows that when a real role comes around that way is not the way to go, and he uses his own way.
You have to find your own way to do things. You can’t think that just because someone else did something one way that it will work for you, because then you’re just wasting your time. Do what works for you. Seriously, you are you and the only thing that will work for you is “your way.”