Because I’m not doing too super this week, I’m going to leave you with a little post about the random wants and dreams I’ve come up with today.
– I want to wake up every morning and go for a run on the beach.
– I want to sit by a sunny window eating peanut butter toast and drinking green tea for breakfast every day.
– I want to spend my afternoons in Disneyland, whether working there or visiting I don’t care.
– I want to know how to eat healthy.
– I want to lose weight.
– I want to have my own apartment and kitchen.
– I want to be done with school so I can work full time, come home, and do whatever the hell I want instead of homework and classes while working only half-time.
– I want my wedding to be tomorrow instead of 73 days away.
– I want to go to Disneyland or Walt Disney World. Either works right now.
– I want to stop craving sugar and shit.
– I want my fiance to stop pushing junk food on me. I want him to understand how hard this is.
– I want salads to be enough to fill me up.
– I want my next book to be professionally published.
– I want to live in a movie where you know everything will turn out all right in the end. Preferably set in the 1920s and I’m in the top 10%.
So I guess they’re not all happy, but I never said they would be. I found out a few days ago that I am more disordered (if that makes sense) than the average person with anorexia, which I don’t really know how to react to. I’m also freaking out about an entire inch I gained to my waist last quarter and I don’t even fucking know how that happened. I like my classes so far this quarter, and my job is so much better than last quarter, but I am so ready for it to be done, and to have my own place where all I have to worry about (until September if I decide to go back to school, because I honestly don’t know if I will) is working and whatever the heck I want after my shift. No sharing bathrooms, no stupid neighbors, and a kitchen.
Do you have any advice for me? Because I’m honestly lost. How the heck do you lose weight at college when you can’t make your own food?