Today Is…

All week I have had no clue of what actual day it is. Monday felt like Tuesday, Tuesday felt like Thursday, Wednesday just sucked, Thursday felt like Thursday, and today feels like Saturday because Thursday was actually my Friday because I have a paper due in the one class I have on Friday so she gave us the day to work on it instead of going to class. So this week has been very interesting. It has ended with the Actor urging me to go see a therapist. It was just one of those weeks sad to say. Well, I guess not “one of those weeks” as defined by a normal person. It was “one of those weeks” as defined by a clinically depressed and anorexic person. Super duper! I’m getting better though. I really don’t think I can afford to see a therapist and the on campus stuff sucks but I guess I had better give it a shot since free is all I can afford.

On another subject, I found this the other day and just loved it.

fat copy 

I just made that. I think I’m going to get it printed and hang it on my wall as a reminder. It is such a good thing to remember, though. I know that I always say, “I’m fat,” especially when I’m down. And probably just about every time I look in the mirror anyway. I know I say it due to all kinds of other emotional aspects bothering me in my life, but I say it anyway and I believe it because the mind is crazy powerful. So it is very important to remember that you are not fat. You have fat and you can get rid of fat with clean eating and hard work and determination. And, having fat does not make you a bad person. That’s another thing. So I really think I’m going to put this on my wall probably right next to my mirror (when I get one).

Today I ran seven miles. I really want to do the Color Run in May and I think if I can get the funds together I will definitely do it. There’s another 5K in town soon I might do as well. Even though I am having a hard time with my depression and ED when I forget about that and the other things bothering me I get really happy about my life and where I am right now. I have four weeks of class left before finals and Spring Break which will be filled with vendor meetings for the wedding as well and the daunting task of hemming my own wedding dress (curse my shortness!). It makes me happy. I guess I need to remember that there are only four weeks of class left and then I’ll be 11 (oh my goodness!) weeks away from the wedding and I’ll be done with this quarter and all will be okay.

I don’t know. I’m in a good mood right now. Happy Friday!


7 thoughts on “Today Is…

  1. Sasha says:

    I just started with an eating disorder therapist (and an eating disorder nutritionist). I can’t afford it either since i have to pay cash for them (about $500/month) so totally understand your conundrum. I justify it by thinking it is more affordable than dying. I had to cancel my entire lives activities to do it but again, that would have happened anyway had I died so…. anyway, I was happy to find your blog! It’s nice to read about someone who is trying ti be well rather than sick. Thanks, you are an inspiration!

  2. I like that sign, it’s really true but like you said it’s hard to recognize that during our ‘bad’ weeks.

    I think the Color Run looks so fun! I’d love to do it but I’d probably have to start training for it since I’m not much of a runner and right now I’m preferring lifting to cardio. But it still seems like fun.

  3. I am trying to raise money for B-eat this week as its Eating Disorders Awareness Week (11th-17th February 2013).

    I have a blog which is all about ‘doing a good thing’. All I am asking people to do is ‘Like’ my page on Facebook ( and I will donate 10p to B-eat for every ‘Like’ I get during the EDAW week. It would be great if you could ‘Like’ my page and share with your friends to help me reach my £100 target.

    For more details read the post on my blog:

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