College Camp

For the past 5 days I have spent my time here at my uni feeling like I was summer camp rather than at college. The first 4 days they had us packed with sessions to attend on drinking and drugs and what it means to be a wildcat. I know some people get really involved in college and they love it, but that’s not for me. I came to college to get an education and get my degree so I can make a little more and know how to write better than most people, which sadly is already true and I haven’t even taken a course here yet. I have already made a few new friends, my roommate is nice, but I am ready for classes to start! I did not come here to relive high school and be the president of what is equivalent to ASB here and join a million clubs and be an RA and the person everyone on campus knows.

This sounds awful but I really just want to get my degree and get out. Honestly, another 4 years of school did not sound that appealing to me. I did not enjoy high school. I am tired or writing papers in subjects I do not care about. And the cost is ridiculous. If it was free, or at least affordable then maybe I would be a bit more excited about it, but not so much. Everyone tells me I am going to love it, and I’m sure I will. I’m not not excited about it. I’ve been looking forward to college since I started high school. I guess I’m just stressed out and I haven’t really had a good cry about all the changes yet. You need a good cry every now and then. I still haven’t had mine. Emotions are high I guess you could say.

It’s been fun. I helped the Actor move in on Sunday into his private room, which, even though my dorm is brand new and huge I have spent more time in his room than in mine. We saw an improv group redub When Worlds Collide which I now have to see the original version of. It was hilarious, though. They showed the Avengers last night as part of Monday Movie Madness or whatever they call it, and tonight we’re going to go to Fred Meyer at 11 because they have special sale for the college kids. I’m excited to start classes tomorrow and make friends, but I’m also excited for June. I’m excited to, even though my dorm is nice, live in an apartment, even if it’s old and small, with the Actor. I’m excited to start our lives together. I’m just ready.

I guess I just don’t know how I feel right now. I’m happy to be in college and on my own. I went into the finance office today to take care of loans and refund stuff and felt all grown up taking care of my own banking and stuff, but then I realized I still have to get a job which gives me anxiety. I’m ready to be done with this year (I’m not totally happy with the classes I have to take this quarter. Math, University 101, and no English or writing courses) already, but I shouldn’t judge it so soon. I’m not much of a fan of eating right now because I have the smallest meal plan which means I get 10 meals a week in order to have enough for the quarter, which isn’t even 2 a day.

This is long and ramble-y without much of a point so I’ll sum it up with this: I do not cope deal with change well.

At least the gym here is awesome.

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5 thoughts on “College Camp

  1. Curious about the tweet “Kyle gets to show his flaw to the washington fair…” Uh, what is his “flaw” that he has to show? That sounds quite intimidating.
    Can’t wait to hear what you think of your classes!

  2. hi! I found your blog via Peanut Butter and Jenny and I can really relate to you. Honestly, for me, the first few weeks/months of college were extremely overwhelming and I was always on the verge of anxious tears. I had just been weight restored from anorexia a few months prior, and everything felt so uncomfortable, new, unknown. But you know what? I am so glad I stuck it out. I learned things here way beyond my academic education and have gotten opportunities and connections (in writing, too! I’ve always dreamed of being a writer) that will get me far for the rest of my life — not to mention that the people I have met here have changed my life in SO many ways. I don’t think I would’ve fully recovered from my ED had I not given college a chance, and now I am happier than ever and have more direction in my life than I ever would’ve imagined before.

    I’m not saying college will be as life-changing for you, because honestly, what the heck do I know? I can’t tell the future. All I’m saying is, hang in there and give this new chapter of your life a chance. Adjustment is always SO hard, but at the end of the day, change is good and I am sure you won’t regret it.

    • Thank you so much for this comment! It really means a lot to me. I am glad that you had a great time in college and after 2 days of classes so far I am, too. It’s just hard to adjust. Back home before I moved in I was getting so much better and happier but this just kind of threw me off and I don’t know what to do anymore. It bothers me. But anyway, I will stick it out even though right now I just really want to go home. Thank you!

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