I have been sick for 3 weeks now. I missed almost an entire week of school the first week (4 1/2 days, and people actually thought I’d died) and for the last two weeks I’ve been trying to hack up my lungs every second of every day and it’s been getting better finally. I can talk again and I’m starting to be able to laugh without dying. But what I have been most frustrated about is not being able to exercise for the past 3 weeks. I had started a 4 week challenge the week before and so I would be done by now and instead I have to start over. And Prom is coming up! (And I still have to get a dress, but that’s besides the point)
I’ve been oddly sore in my back and legs. My back I understand. I’m weaker with this walking pneumonia and my backpack weighs 20 pounds. My cough also hurts my back cause I put my entire body into. My back, my lower abs, my thighs oddly enough, all suffer because of this cough. I am ready for it to be done.
I haven’t been exercising, as much as I would like to, but 3 weeks of being sick is outrageous and I didn’t want it to stick around any more. I don’t get sick like this. My immune system is a beast! So where this came from I have no idea but it really knocked me over. I can’t wait to get back into it. It’s really just getting annoying at this point. Whether I am better or not on Saturday I am easing back into it and on Monday I’m starting over with my 4 week challenge. I gave my body 3 weeks, that is more than enough time.
But strangely enough, because I have been eating, I have actually lost weight during this whole period. I guess I am sick and my heart rate has been elevated (which freaks me out. My normal rate freaks me out because I am so used to the 40 bpm it used to be, like 2 years ago) and sick so I guess my body needs more energy, but yeah. I’ve lost weight. And I like it. I have to admit being so close to my old weight makes me feel good even if I’m not there. Being so close to double digits instead of triple is really exciting. Will I tip over and go into double? I don’t think so, though it is tempting. I know the triple comes from muscle, which I’m probably losing which is probably why I’m losing weight (sad face) but I do like double a lot.
When I look in the mirror it is clear I have lost the definition I worked so hard to gain in my abs but if that means I’m a lower weight, am I complaining? Well, not anymore, I did at first. It’s a hard place, really. I want so much to lose weight again but I also want to be healthy and have the best bitchin’ body eva! I’ve been fighting this battle since fall of last year. Skinny or fit? Fit or skinny? What do I want?!
Right now I really want to get back into my exercising. Yeah, I’m enjoying knowing I’m losing weight and turning into the waif I always wanted to be, but my mind and my Tumblr dash (because all I follow are fitblrs) are motivating me the other way. I keep seeing these new workout vids, like Blogilates’ new Call Me Maybe Squat Challenge that came out while I still had my fever (I’ll admit I almost did it) and they taunt me. I have to do them!! I can’t wait for Saturday to get back into it. It’s been too long. Time to get better!