The holidays are not treating me well, to be honest. I enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with my family and my boyfriend at my Aunt and Uncle’s house in Seattle with their new puppy (remember Havoc?) who is quite big and not floppy now. I restricted myself to some mashed potatoes, a roll, dressing, orange stuff, and yams with a tiny slice of pink pie for dessert. I chased Havoc around for some exercise but still came home feeling full, and like a failure.
I am tired of feeling like my whole self worth relies on a number. I lost 4 pounds in Minneapolis and have gained one back so far and I am not happy about it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m slipping and each day it is getting worse. There is nothing my boyfriend can do about it now and I know that which is why I need to try harder but also feel like I can try less. I know I need to work harder and not lose more weight but I have been in denial about my eating disorder since before I was diagnosed. I know you don’t have to be emaciated but I still can’t believe I ever had a disorder because I was never that skinny. The whole get-your-heart-rate-up-or-you’ll-die thing didn’t really get the message across. But I’m working on it. That’s all I can do for now.
We put up our Christmas tree on Wednesday with my boyfriend’s help. He made the treacherous trek across the pass home the night before.
Sweetie loves sleeping under the Christmas tree and she’d claimed it before all the lights were even on.
She just curled up right on top of it and wouldn’t get off.
It was really nice getting to spend 4 1/2 days with my boyfriend again. It’s been so long since we got to spend so much time together. We saw Breaking Dawn and the Muppet Movie which was hilarious. I really wish they would bring back the Muppet Show. I would watch it! I watch old ones on YouTube already. I don’t know why, but I was surprised when they started singing the first song. I should have expected it to be a musical but for some reason I didn’t. It was really good, though.
I am not looking forward to the weeks ahead but they will all fly by and it will be Christmas time! I’ve already got my shopping done save for my brother who shouldn’t get anything because his dad buys him anything he wants whenever he wants it. He already has everything. I guess I’ll give him a cookie, even though he won’t eat it.
Now it’s Christmas time and I could not be more excited and happy. I am really looking forward to everything. And I’m looking forward to being done with NaNoWriMo. Only 5,000 words left and I’ll finish that up today. Now, I’m going to eat coconut milk ice cream (yum!), procrastinate for 15 minutes on Pinterest then start writing, exercising, and photographing!
Did you have a good Thanksgiving? If you have an ED how did it treat you? I’m sparing you all the sad details.
What do you want for Christmas? I want a job lined up for me for summer. And a new yoga mat. And a gift card to Gilly Hicks. Seriously, I’m in love with that place.
Also, thank you to Attune Foods and Chocolate Covered Katie who hosted a giveaway of their probiotic chocolate which I won. I’ve never won a giveaway before so I was very excited and it is delicious! I seriously recommend it. It’s vegan and it’s good for you! I took a few bars with me to Minneapolis along with my larabars and they were a lifesaver! $2.50 for a candy bar at the vending machines? No thanks, I’ve got my Attune bars.