Thanksgiving 2011 recap

The holidays are not treating me well, to be honest. I enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with my family and my boyfriend at my Aunt and Uncle’s house in Seattle with their new puppy (remember Havoc?) who is quite big and not floppy now. I restricted myself to some mashed potatoes, a roll, dressing, orange stuff, and yams with a tiny slice of pink pie for dessert. I chased Havoc around for some exercise but still came home feeling full, and like a failure.

I am tired of feeling like my whole self worth relies on a number. I lost 4 pounds in Minneapolis and have gained one back so far and I am not happy about it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m slipping and each day it is getting worse. There is nothing my boyfriend can do about it now and I know that which is why I need to try harder but also feel like I can try less. I know I need to work harder and not lose more weight but I have been in denial about my eating disorder since before I was diagnosed. I know you don’t have to be emaciated but I still can’t believe I ever had a disorder because I was never that skinny. The whole get-your-heart-rate-up-or-you’ll-die thing didn’t really get the message across. But I’m working on it. That’s all I can do for now.

We put up our Christmas tree on Wednesday with my boyfriend’s help. He made the treacherous trek across the pass home the night before.

Sweetie loves sleeping under the Christmas tree and she’d claimed it before all the lights were even on.

She just curled up right on top of it and wouldn’t get off.

We went out to Red Robin with my boyfriend and his family on Friday and it was good. I had a salad, a side salad. I won’t go into it but I love spending time with his family. They’re like the nicest people you’ll ever meet in your entire life.

It was really nice getting to spend 4 1/2 days with my boyfriend again. It’s been so long since we got to spend so much time together. We saw Breaking Dawn and the Muppet Movie which was hilarious. I really wish they would bring back the Muppet Show. I would watch it! I watch old ones on YouTube already. I don’t know why, but I was surprised when they started singing the first song. I should have expected it to be a musical but for some reason I didn’t. It was really good, though.

I am not looking forward to the weeks ahead but they will all fly by and it will be Christmas time! I’ve already got my shopping done save for my brother who shouldn’t get anything because his dad buys him anything he wants whenever he wants it. He already has everything. I guess I’ll give him a cookie, even though he won’t eat it.

Now it’s Christmas time and I could not be more excited and happy. I am really looking forward to everything. And I’m looking forward to being done with NaNoWriMo. Only 5,000 words left and I’ll finish that up today. Now, I’m going to eat coconut milk ice cream (yum!), procrastinate for 15 minutes on Pinterest then start writing, exercising, and photographing!

Questions:

Did you have a good Thanksgiving? If you have an ED how did it treat you? I’m sparing you all the sad details.

What do you want for Christmas? I want a job lined up for me for summer. And a new yoga mat. And a gift card to Gilly Hicks. Seriously, I’m in love with that place.

Also, thank you to Attune Foods and Chocolate Covered Katie who hosted a giveaway of their probiotic chocolate which I won. I’ve never won a giveaway before so I was very excited and it is delicious! I seriously recommend it. It’s vegan and it’s good for you! I took a few bars with me to Minneapolis along with my larabars and they were a lifesaver! $2.50 for a candy bar at the vending machines? No thanks, I’ve got my Attune bars.

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5 thoughts on “Thanksgiving 2011 recap

  1. i’m sorry that you haven’t been feeling so great about the ED lately 😦 this time of year is definitely hard. i have definitely been having restrictive thoughts. my mom was sweet enough to make me some “safe” foods that she knows i would eat. i stuck to those so it was kind of like i had my own thanksgiving meal. but hopefully christmas will be better! (i highly doubt it though to be quiet honest)

  2. It was okay. I didn’t restrict myself because that’s when I usually binge later on. I ate a helping of everything I liked, and then stopped. I almost crashed last night because it was the first time I had a moment to myself all week. (I used to be anorexic, but now fight bulimia.) But I kept making myself do other things (like blogging) instead of heading to the pantry to pig out.

    What do I want for Christmas? A new floor that is Wonderbutt-proof.

  3. I understand that the holidays can be really hard.

    I used to be in the same boat as you were. I struggled with so much food especially if I went up north to the Farm (my husband’s side of family). I used to restrict a lot in the past.

    Now I’m in recovery; I don’t find myself restricting anymore or freaking out. But I did find myself taking my dog out for walks afterward. Hey, it’s work of progression.

    I know you will find yourself in that place one day. It takes time. AT least you are being honest with yourself and that is an important part.

    XX

  4. So I had thought I’d put you in my google reader, but I guess not… anyhoo… It’s okay to have a bad Thanksgiving (I’m not saying I’m glad you didn’t have a good one), because that’s where you are right now. you know? Each day is a new opportunity and thanksgiving can be hard for people that don’t even have eating disorders. You’ll get there

    oh and how I love Chocolate Covered Katie.. I might have to check out those chocolates, I’m sort of a probiotic freak :/

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