>Coping with Non-Change

>A strange installment to my new “series”. Today I arrived back at school after a much needed Spring Break to have all of the peace and tranquility and relaxation blown completely out of me. Halfway into 1st period, my Junior class was pulled out so we could be talked to about taking AP classes next year, as if 87% of us weren’t already in an AP class. I annoyed that they did it, but I was excited to go to advisory and sign up for my classes. I was going to take AP Lit, Yearbook, Current World Problems, and AP Studio Art (my school only has 4 periods and I find it lame, but whatever). Well, not so, not so. My “course survey” told me that AP Literature was split with AP Government. It was like this year with AP English and AP US History. Um, I’m sorry, but you cannot seriously split an AP class! Especially not two that are both challenging and useful; classes that you are going to use for the rest of your life whether you major in English or Biology or don’t even go to college. When you only go every other day it takes away a lot of learning and precious time. I still feel like I haven’t learned anything in my AP English class, and I am exactly one month away from my AP test!

The non-change would be the way the school deals with things. They still do not understand that what they are doing does not work!! So, I sent the principal another email, and this one was not as nice as the first one I sent a few months back regarding the AP Policy as a whole. This one was full of words like “sad” and “dissapointed” and “upset” and “do not appreciate” because I couldn’t very well swear at the man. I also sent an email to the teacher who teaches AP Literature, asking if he would be willing to work with me to do some kind of independent study AP Literature so I do not have to deal with the school’s crap anymore. I actually broke down crying in the middle of the hallway when I saw my boyfriend.

“I can’t be here anymore. I can’t take this anymore! Why do they keep doing this to me? Why are they killing AP?” I cried.

I figure that the school can mess up all they want, but most of the time I can get them to do just what I want. I think they’re kind of scared of me because I know that the students have the power and I refuse to be silenced, pushed around, and treated like a baby when I am almost legal and know what I want and what I need to be successful in life. Preparing me for college? Please, not at this school. My little brother is now not allowed to go to high school in this DISTRICT. Both me and my mom agree. Maybe we’ll send him to private school, maybe they can do things with a brain.
This non-change has indeed affected my mood around how I am and feel about myself. I almost didn’t eat lunch, but it was a peanut butter sandwich. How could I turn that down? I ate an ice cream sandwich after school when I wasn’t hungry just because I was so pissed, and now I wish I could do my pilates tonight, but I probably won’t be able to do it until Saturday because it’s a video on YouTube and I can’t take my laptop into my room where I do all of my exercising. Lame. I feel fat and gross, but I get that I’m just pissed and feel completely worthless because I am treated so poorly at school. I so wish that I could graduate this year so that I never have to go back. I know that whatever happens after high school in my life, it will never be as bad as high school.

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