>Christmas Eve Eve

>Merry Christmas Eve Eve everyone! I am posting today because I am going to be busy tomorrow and of course, on Christmas Day. I’ve got exciting things happening and candy cane cookies and orange tapioca salad to make, both are extrememly delicious. On Christmas Eve, my family is going over to my boyfriend’s house for dinner. My mom is finally going to get to know his parents after we’ve been together for nearly 2 years now. It’s very exciting, though I do have to admit that I am a little nervous. We’re two different worlds, but I’m sure everything will be very fun. And Christmas Day is, well, Christmas Day. Opening gifts at 6 in the morning to satisfy my little brother and going to bed at 5 pm because I can’t stay awake any longer. Today, I am going to see my sister and her son, and my brother was not happy about it at first until he heard that our nephew has Hot Wheels cars.

Christmas is kind of freaking me out, though, just with the food. Dinner at my boyfriend’s is always full of good food, and around the holidays, his dad makes a plethora of cookies that I am going to have to try not to eat, or eat a few. I’ll see how things go. But I am nervous. Yesterday, I had cinnamon rolls for breakfast, Panera for lunch, and steak for dinner. I felt pretty horrible and fat about it, but I woke up hungry today, so that means my body made use of all the food. Still, I was not in a very good mood. My boyfriend had to do a lot of cheering me up, but once I was happy, everything was great. He banned me from my scale, though. I am not allowed to weigh myself anymore. This happened over the weekend, and I have to say, at first, I caved and weighed myself about 3 different times, but since then, I have been able to stay away from it, even if I really, really, REALLY want to step on it. I just have to talk to my mother about removing it, which I really don’t want to. When we started the recovery process, she asked if she had to hide it and I told her I would be fine with it left out. I don’t want to admit that I was wrong.

The holidays are almost over, which makes me happy and sad. Happy because no more food, but sad because it came and went so fast. Happy holidays!

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One thought on “>Christmas Eve Eve

  1. >I know how you feel. Even though I've been recovering from anorexia for about 11 months now,for some reason the holidays are tough for me. If you want to know a little about my story, I have posted it on a website: http://www.2medusa.com/2010/12/olivias-story-i-havegotten-tattoo-of.html I still occasionally get very anxiety-filled and overwhelmed by all of the food and whatnot. All those thoughts, "I shouldn't eat this", or "I shouldn't eat at all", or even "oh my, I need to try to control myself, because I want to eat all of this", which could obviously lead to purging. Hang in there; it's tough, but we are the lucky statistics, because at least we are recovering. If you ever need someone to talk to or to listen, we may not know each other, but I'm here for you. My email is oliviabnieto@msn.com. I feel that all of us that hath been through this disease have a bond, because we can understand what it is truely like. Hope all is well. Best wishes, Olivia

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